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Be the Actual

Inspiration for Your Journey

Are We Good Americans … Worthy of Their Sacrifices?

I’ve been sitting with an uncomfortable question today: Am I worthy of the sacrifices our service members are willing to make for our safety, security, and freedom? More simply — am I a good American? Today is Memorial Day. Not “Happy Memorial Day” — there’s nothing happy about it. It’s somber, sacred, and reflective. It’s … Learn More

Is it burnout … or an existential crisis?

My 4:00 a.m. alarm wasn’t subtle.  When it went off, every fiber in my being rejected the notion that I had to get out of bed.  My husband was out of town, and I had a grad school final to finish before my boys, then ten and five, woke up and asked for waffles. It … Learn More

Stop Waiting for Rock Bottom to Become Who You’re Meant to Be.

When I was going through one of the most disruptive seasons of my life, I somehow knew it was going to take two years to find my footing again. And in that knowing, I faced a choice. I could come out the other side bitter, hateful, and resentful. Or I could come out more grateful, … Learn More

How to Be Heard

I have a 15-year-old son, which basically qualifies me to teach a master class on what it feels like to be ignored. The other day, on the way to school, I was mid-”mom”alogue – covering the holy trinity of mom concerns: grades, laundry, and the ever-popular “what are you going to do with your life?” … Learn More

“We Need to Talk … And Other Ways Managers Kill Motivation.”

Three words. That’s all it took to ruin my friend’s weekend. Her manager sent a note Friday afternoon: “Can we meet Tuesday?” No context. No subject line. No clue what it was about. She spiraled the entire weekend.. What did I do? Is this about the client meeting? Am I getting let go? I kept … Learn More

Make the Donuts: The Leadership Skill Nobody Talks About

I recently read Strangers by Belle Burden, her memoir about the abrupt end of a 20-year marriage. It hit painfully close to home. Throughout the book, I felt genuine empathy for Belle, followed by a surprising and uncomfortable emotion: jealousy. Belle is a Vanderbilt heir. When her world fell apart, her grief experience looked very … Learn More

Don’t Get Mad. Get Promoted.

Disclaimer: I love men. I value men in the workplace. I also love women. I know when men and women work alongside each other, great results happen. Yet, I can’t help but read the tea leaves and realize there’s a war being waged against women and it’s not subtle.  Look at what’s happened just recently: If you’re paying … Learn More

The Most Underinvested Asset Is You.

I’ve heard every version of it: “My company won’t pay for it.” “It’s not in the budget.” “I’ll wait until my employer sponsors it.” And every time I hear it, I think the same thing – you’re waiting for someone else to bet on you. Why aren’t you? Let’s get something straight: you own your development. Not … Learn More

Your Carefully Curated Life Is Making You a Worse Leader

My sister is one of those people who shows up every day for work that most people couldn’t do. As a paraprofessional at a school for students with developmental needs, she pours herself into kids who need her most – the  ones who are misunderstood, underestimated, and often just having the hardest time navigating a … Learn More

What My Sick Child Taught Me About My Schedule

Last week, my fifteen-year-old woke up complaining of a sore throat. I’ll be honest: my reaction was skepticism. “Sore throat” has historically been code in our house for I’m tired and I don’t want to go to school, a mysterious ailment that’s conveniently difficult to verify. But this time, he pulled out his iPhone, turned … Learn More