I’m embarking on a new journey: I’m writing my fourth book.
Sure, I’m an experienced writer. But this project is different. It’s a solo act; all of my other books have had co-authors. And it’s a different time. In the age of AI, publishers are wary. Writing a book with an AI tool is relatively easy now, which means a lot less friction and a lot more competition.
Publishers want to take a chance on authors with huge followings and/or work that’s impressive enough to define a category. (For the record: I won’t be using AI for this book.)
To be clear: I’m no Stephen King. No J.K. Rowling. So it looks like I’m aiming to write an impressive, category-defining book. No pressure.
But I believe in this book, its message, its theme. It’s a combination of what I’ve seen, known, and believe, reflected in both my own experience and my observations of successful leaders. It’s a blend of perspectives shaped by the Marine Corps, wellness and energetics practices, and leadership research. To me, it’s a fresh take on a category that’s already been written about, and talked about, by nearly anyone who’s ever worn a tie or a pair of heels.
I’m excited and daunted. The perfect emotional mix for any worthwhile task.
Will this book be successful? Honestly, I don’t know. That level of doubt has always been part of my life. I believe my superpower is an “I don’t know” mindset, followed by a “let’s go see” curiosity. That combination of intellectual and emotional courage is what’s inspired me to start most things worth starting.
Like starting a business at 25 with zero firsthand experience in business operations: no background in accounting, marketing, or project management. I wasn’t even sure I was any good at the skills I was actually selling: keynoting, facilitating, training. Fortunately, I was. I’ve built a 20-plus-year career on them since.
What my business partner and I were good at was selling. We both had sales backgrounds, and we used them. Our first client was Walmart. We cold-called our way into the organization, and they took a chance on us. When Walmart is your first client, you suddenly have the credibility to land more. I’m forever grateful they bet on two people who hadn’t yet proven themselves.
I want to inspire you to take your dreams and take action, with an “I don’t know” mindset of your own. It doesn’t have to be entrepreneurial. It can be anything you’ve set your sights on: a new role, a new employer, a project you want to propose. Here are three skills to embrace to get whatever it is off the ground.
1. Prioritize confidence over experience.
Some people think you need experience before you can start anything. I disagree. What you need is belief, belief that you can. That belief is what lets you walk into the arena in the first place.
You build confidence through small wins. For me, right now, a small win looks like finding an agent who shares my belief in this project, someone willing to take a risk with me. There are no guarantees in any of this. But you have to generate momentum somehow, and small wins are how you do it.
2. Be unattached to the outcome.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, ever happens the way you want it to or expect it to. When you grip an outcome too tightly, you either set yourself up for disappointment or you close your mind to the opportunities showing up around you.
I once trained for a 10K. I put everything into it: weeks of training, hundreds of hours. Race day? I cramped up and posted my worst time ever, barely walking across the finish line at two hours. But I learned more from that race than I ever would have from a personal record. Failure, and the learning that comes with it, makes for a far better story than a clean win ever does.
3. Ask: if not you, then who?
Look around. Someone else is living your dream right now. Someone else has the job you’d like. Someone else has the healthy lifestyle you admire, the income you’d love to enjoy. If they can do it, why can’t you?
What’s the actual difference between them and you? They’ve oriented their life around their aspirations. They’ve built the routines, habits, and disciplines over time that got them there. That’s not exclusive to them; it’s available to you too. Admire them, respect them, and let their example be exactly the motivation you need to become the person you admire most.
There are no certainties in life. No guarantees. But here’s what I do know: life is hard no matter which path you choose. So don’t you want the kind of hard that actually moves you closer to your dreams?
I know you do. So be okay with “I don’t know.” Then go see for yourself how truly amazing you can be.
