Not to brag, but I’ve got some powerhouse collaborators. Stephanie Cox, former SLB president and CEO of Wood Group Americas, is one of them. Together we created a mastermind for energy, infrastructure, and industrial executives, and it’s one of the most successful and fulfilling ventures I’ve been part of. When high-performing senior leaders gain the skillset to thrive in their roles, their impact ripples out to hundreds of thousands of people. It’s inspiring!  

Last week, Stephanie and I met to design a new course, and our conversation kept circling one concept: power. Specifically, how surprising it is that there are leaders in significant roles who are often uncomfortable using it. They struggle with “being the boss.”

Here’s what that discomfort looks like:

• Hesitating to ask for more, and better, from salaried employees (who make well over six figures, by the way). 
• Avoiding swift, difficult, potentially unpopular decisions that disrupt the status quo. 
• Failing to advocate for what they want, or to challenge their team when that’s what it takes to get what they need. 

It’s as if many leaders forget that holding a title means stepping outside ourselves and abandoning our insecurities about being in charge.

Or, otherwise stated, being The Actual.

The Actual what? The Actual leader.

I learned this phrase in the Marines. “The Actual” is the call sign for a commanding officer. If you’re in trouble, you pick up the radio and ask for The Actual. They’re the one who drives action, gets you resources, and makes the call. They’re confident and in command. When they say they’ll make something happen, you believe them, because they don’t waver.

The Actual is a powerful archetype for anyone seeking to grow in confidence as a leader. It’s not about acting inauthentically or playing a part. It’s an ideal you hold up and step into when the moment demands it. Think of it as an alter ego.

Performers do this all the time. Michael Jackson was notoriously shy. So is Beyonce, who famously created Sasha Fierce to summon her stage presence. Kobe Bryant became the Black Mamba when the game was on the line. But when the lights came on? There was no mistaking who was The Actual in those moments.

So as you approach this week, think about your role, what it demands, and where you’re selling yourself, your team, and your organization short. Then consider a mindset shift.

What does being “The Actual You” require?

Now put those ideas into action.

P.S. Stephanie and I are accepting new intact leadership teams to enroll in AIM. [Learn more here.] If you’re an individual who wants to join our open-enrollment cohort, [apply here.]