Let me ask you something: When was the last time you were fully present?

Not half-listening to your kid while checking Slack. Not “relaxing” on the couch while scrolling through work emails. Not in a meeting while mentally writing your grocery list. I mean truly, completely present in one space, doing one thing, with one purpose.

If you’re struggling to remember, you’re not alone.

I was listening to a podcast recently with Jay Shetty and Madonna—yes, that Madonna. (Side note: I’m a die-hard fan. My first company, Lead Star, was named partly after “Lucky Star.” If you don’t know that song, we need to have a serious conversation about your life choices.)

Jay talked about something that hit me like a ton of bricks: the collapse of the three spaces.

The Three Spaces We’ve Lost

Think back a generation or two. People had three distinct spaces:

• Home – where you restored, connected with family, and recharged
• Work – where you focused, collaborated, and contributed
• A third space – church, community center, coffee shop—somewhere you reflected, found meaning, and belonged to something bigger

Each space had clear boundaries and served a specific purpose in creating a balanced life.

Now? Those lines are gone. We’ve abandoned the third space almost entirely—no time for reflection or community. Home and work have merged into this weird hybrid where you’re never fully engaged in either. And even when you’re physically in one place, you’re mentally scattered across a dozen others, trapped in the glow of your devices.

Here’s what we’ve lost: our actual lives. We’re not living our values. We’re not deeply engaging with the people we love or holding meaningful collaboration with our teammates. We’re just… surviving in this fractured, distracted state.

The COVID Effect: When “Boundaries” Became a Dirty Word

Remember pre-pandemic? You’d never ask someone to jump on a call at 5 AM. It was unthinkable. But COVID changed the rules. Now that everyone has a laptop at home, there’s “no excuse” not to be available. Always.

The result? Leaders I’m coaching are beyond burnout.  They’re nervous systems are in a constant state of stress. Their teams are exhausted. And paradoxically, despite being more “available” than ever, we’re less productive, less creative, and less engaged.

Taking a Risk Worth Taking

I’m coaching senior leaders at a Fortune 500 energy company, and we’re doing something that feels radical: we’re putting up strong, clear boundaries around our organization’s schedules. We’re protecting our workforce’s peace of mind.

It’s a risk. We’re betting that quality time will beat quantity time—that focused, restored humans will outperform exhausted, always-on ones.

Early signs? It’s working.

How to Reclaim Your Three Spaces (Starting Today)

You don’t need to wait for your company to change. Here’s how you can start rebuilding boundaries:

1. Create “hard stops” in your calendar Block 6-8 PM for family time. Make it a recurring meeting titled “Unavailable.” Protect it like you would a CEO meeting—because it is one, with the most important people in your life.

2. Establish communication norms with your team Set clear expectations: “I don’t respond to emails after 7 PM or before 7 AM unless it’s a genuine emergency.” Then define what “emergency” actually means (hint: it’s rarely an emergency).

3. Rediscover your third space  Find somewhere that’s not home or work. A gym. A hiking trail. A coffee shop. A volunteer organization. Somewhere you can reflect, restore, and remember who you are beyond your job title.

4. Practice “single-space presence” When you’re at work, be at work—fully. When you’re home, close the laptop and be home. Give each space the respect and attention it deserves.

5. Lead by example If you’re a leader, your team is watching. When you send emails at midnight, you’re telling them that’s the expectation. Model the boundaries you want them to have.

The Competitive Advantage of Restoration

Here’s what I’m seeing with leaders who embrace this approach: better decisions, more innovation and creativity, higher retention, and teams that actually want to show up and pour into their organization.

Quality beats quantity. Every single time.

When people have protected time for restoration and reflection, they bring their best thinking, creativity, and energy. They solve problems faster. They collaborate better. They stay longer.

Let’s Have This Conversation

What would change in your organization if you prioritized better boundaries, deeper engagement, and quality over quantity?

What if you could unlock human potential simply by slowing down and creating space for meaningful, focused engagement?

I believe we can. And if you want to explore what this could look like for your leadership team, let’s talk. Because the three spaces aren’t just nice to have—they’re essential for building lives and organizations that actually perform to their potential.