My first therapy session was in 2002.
My brother had just taken his life. My husband was one month into a seven-month Marine Corps deployment. I was stuck in a job I didn’t enjoy.
I was alone in a heavy, dark place, the kind where even the things you love stop bringing joy. My friends were wonderful, but bunko and wine nights (fun as they were) weren’t going to get me through. I also didn’t want to drain them. So I sought out someone with the experience to guide me.
What surprised me about therapy was how little of it focused on my circumstances. Those were just context. The real work centered on my story, how I processed grief, and how I connected with my emotions. In leadership terms, I was building emotional intelligence: self-awareness and self-management.
Up to that point, my life had been about leading others. That’s what Marine officers do. But I had overlooked how to lead myself. Therapy changed that. I began owning my story, finding my purpose, and listening to myself. In short, I started caring for my most important asset: my mind.
That awareness opened doors I hadn’t imagined:
- I bet on myself as an entrepreneur. Once I trusted my own judgment, building a business stopped feeling like a gamble and started feeling like a calling.
- I found my voice and put it on the page. Writing a book requires knowing what you believe and why. Self-awareness gave me both.
- I built a career that could go anywhere. I designed a remote career long before it was common, so when the pandemic hit, I was ready!
You don’t need a tragedy to discover that your mind is your most critical career asset. You just need to recognize it, and maybe reading this is your nudge.
So here’s my challenge: What are you doing to protect, care for, and nurture your mind? And how are you using it to lead yourself through what you’re facing right now?
- The people problem. Interpersonal conflict drains more energy than almost anything else at work, and how you think about it shapes how you handle it.
- The “impossible” goal. When targets feel out of reach, your mindset decides whether you freeze or find a way.
- The tangled workplace. Shifting priorities, office politics, and unclear power dynamics demand a clear head to navigate.
One of the most powerful ideas I know comes from a hero of mine, Maya Angelou: “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
Here are four ways to start caring for your neglected mind:
- Walk unplugged. Leave the earbuds at home. Without music or podcasts filling the silence, your mind finally has room to sort, settle, and solve.
- Pause and notice. A few times a day, stop and take in what’s around you: the light, the sounds, the people. These small moments pull you out of autopilot and back into the present.
- Get outside. Nature has a way of shrinking your worries to their actual size. Even a short walk among trees or near water can reset your perspective.
- Count what’s going right. Gratitude trains your brain to look for what’s working instead of what’s broken. Name three things each day, and watch your outlook shift.
