I spend a considerable amount of time developing my happiness habit “stack,” which includes:

• Keeping a gratitude journal
• Taking frequent breaks to breath, walk outside
• Developing my internal “talk track” to make sure it’s kind, compassionate

While these practices have made a meaningful difference in my life, they don’t always prevent a funk. 

Admittingly, I’m a pretty positive, happy person … but I’m also human. I get frustrated, I get sad, and I certainty experience worry, concern.  And when I experience these darker, negative emotions, I typically stress eat. Come on, I know it’s not just me. I’ll admit it: when I’m not fulfilled with positive energy, my sweet tooth goes into overdrive.

I wonder – when you’re at your less than best, what do you do?

• Indulge in that extra drink at night?
• Stay up late, doom scrolling on social media?
• Obsessing about small, inconsequential things?
• Gossiping about your colleagues?
• Ruminating on all the people who’ve disappointed you?

We all have less-than-best, go-to behaviors that conceal our “unhappy facts.” Unhappy facts are a part of our truth – they’re the things that aren’t going great for us, which can be external or internal. Externally, maybe we have a jerk boss, our kids keep getting in trouble at school, or maybe we’re experiencing loss and the grief can feel overwhelming at times.

Internally, our unhappy facts can relate to feeling stuck at work, getting looked over/passed over, or our general state of health and wellbeing. 

Our happiness habits don’t always address our unhappy facts. They help, sure. But they don’t attack the issues at the core. This is no different than what I tell my two sons – putting deodorant on a dirty body doesn’t mean you don’t need a shower. 

Self-leadership is required to take control of your unhappy facts. This is one of the hardest tasks anyone can undertake because it requires a level of introspection that’s hard to come by in our fast-paced worlds. Through introspection, we get a chance to understand the true challenges we’re dealing with and what we can control, what we can’t.

Introspection looks like:

• Turning off the radio or podcasts on the drive home and asking yourself – “What went well today, what didn’t go well?”
• Setting an alarm at key points during the day to check in with yourself and ask ,“How am I feeling?”
• Thinking about why you’re doing things – Why am I so upset, why did that interaction trigger me, why do I want that second bowl of ice cream?

Lately, what I’ve found to work is setting an alarm on my iPhone every two hours and checking in with myself – it’s been truly useful to track how my state of mind changes throughout the day. With awareness comes a sense of action that allows me to control what I can control, which – hopefully – helps enhance the efficacy of all of my happiness habits!

I’d like you to imagine a world where you proactively address your unhappy facts … and you level up on your happiness habit stack. What would that look like for you? It’s kind of exciting to think about, isn’t it?

I’m on this journey with you! I’ll never hold myself up as a perfect leader – but I can work to perfect my growth and development one conscious moment at a time.

Here’s to a brighter future!

The Actual Angie