“JUST shuffle YOUR FEET.”

My 14-year-old and I were on a chairlift at a ski resort over break when we heard this shout coming from below.  It was from an exasperated parent attempting to help their child learn how to ski across flat land.  The child was stuck standing still.  The parent was clearly frustrated and feeling helpless.

My son looked at me and said, “Whoa.  That’s pretty intense.”  I agreed.  

And I empathized.  I’ve been in situations before where I’ve felt zero control and, in frustration, projected onto the other person.  When we’re stressed and angry, we often try to control the world around us … vs control the only person we can.  

I don’t like that side of me.  You probably don’t like that side of you, either.  So, what do you do?

• Breathe.  Literally, deep breath in, deep breath out.  Breathing lets our thinking brain catch up with our reacting brain.
• Pull Back the Lens.  Try to observe yourself from 5000 feet.  What would a non-judgmental, compassionate person say to you about the moment you’re in.  They’d probably help you find your senses and respond with more grace.
• Control Yourself.  You can only control you.  Draw an imaginary circle around your feet and focus on the actions and behaviors of the only person inside the circle.  Remind yourself of the person you want to be – the better person.    

Can you imagine a world where we all spent more time in control of ourselves, vs blaming and shaming others?  I can.  Leadership: it starts with us.