The way I see it, I’ve got three options:

–          Resign to the goal, even though my team can’t achieve it

–          Fight the goal, knowing I’m going to p*ss off my boss … but maybe I change it

–          Quit because I’m sick of being set up to fail

This was the gist of the conversation I had with a friend a few days ago when he was marveling at his 2025 goals.

He could tell by my face I was holding back.  “What, Angie?” 

“Are you looking for a friend to commiserate with you, an executive coach, or a motivational speaker right now? Choose your adventure.”  He chose coach. 

“There are more options – and I like Option #4. Option #4: the one where you open your mind and commit to the goal with every fiber in your being. You’re fighting against the goal, when you should be fighting for the creative solution.  Where do you want to put your energy right now?”

I could tell by his face that he wasn’t used to me being so direct, but I reminded him that he asked for it. And I shared my view with love because I care about him and his professional reputation. 

I wanted to protect him from something I see far too often – leaders resisting decisions that have already been made.  I didn’t want my friend is to be “that guy” – that guy at the table who always whines about corporate, complains about things being too challenging, and then goes to their team with his hands up in the air about what “they” are making us do – creating an us vs them environment.

When you’re “that guy,” or “that person,” it’s the equivalent of the kid at the birthday who’s peed their pants … they’re standing in the corner all by themselves, and no one wants to play with them because they kinda smell.    

You’ve seen in – disagreeability and dissent are alienating. Plus, when this is your routine, over time you’re corporate, team, and self-sabotaging*. 

Now, I’m not out of touch – I’m a CEO, lead a team, and have crazy ambition. I’m sometimes in awe of the challenges ahead of me, too. But I know something pretty important: ordinary people do extraordinary things all of the time.  What makes them unique is their approach to challenges. They don’t trust their knee-jerk reactions, though their reactions are honest and real. They work to achieve Option #4 thinking, which is a leadership response to a situation.

Here’s how to achieve Option #4 thinking when you feel overwhelmed and uncertain by the goals you’re up against:

–          Respect your initial reaction.  It comes from a sincere place. Then be curious about it – why do you feel that way? Is it really the goal, or is it something else? Is it your confidence level? Are you already feeling burnt out?  Do you feel your opinion wasn’t considered and you feel disrespected? 

–          Take your challenge out of context. Maybe you can’t solve it with your current team structure or current workload, or even with the products and services you have. But it’s solvable. Your competitors are going to solve it – so why not you? You’re smart – you can figure out what needs to change in order to rise to the challenge. 

–          Talk with a coach, friend, or mentor. Alternative points of view are great ways to expand your thinking of the situation. Use your advisory board to really push and challenge you. Also, if you know you’re up against seemingly impossible goals, get a coach – they can help you stay focused and committed. 

I firmly believe that a new era of success will require a new era of thinking – Option #4 Thinking. This is something I’m challenging myself with daily.  You know the method for growth: thoughts become beliefs that become behaviors. If you want to change anything, change your thoughts – that’s where your breakthrough will start.

*Next week I’ll write about how to disagree and dissent without ruining your reputation.