I can think of times in my life when I hesitated to deliver feedback. The reasons were self-focused:

• I didn’t want to upset the other person
• I wasn’t sure if I was the one to deliver it
• I didn’t know the right words to use

I’d love to say that in every situation I looked beyond my discomfort to deliver the news in the most skilled way I could.  But that’s not an honest answer. 

There were times I’d …

• Hold back, thinking maybe things will get better with time without me raising the issue
• Water the feedback down, letting the person know that the situation might not be as big of a deal as it seems
• Blame myself, assuming that I probably had more accountability to the situation than I realized and took care of the issue myself

All of this is kind of chicken sh*t, isn’t it? 

Now, with maturity, skill, and experience, I’ve gotten much better in the feedback arena.  But I recently had an aha! around feedback that I wanted to share with you in the event that this is an area of discomfort for you, too.

Here’s that aha:

It’s your moral obligation to deliver feedback to the people in your life. 

Yes, you heard me: a moral obligation.

Think about this: if you’re a manager, and you’re holding back on telling an employee how they can improve, consider what’s at stake: their job security. That employee has hopes, dreams, and ambitions. They likely have a family, a mortgage, a car payment. With all of this on the line, isn’t it important that you don’t hold back on how they could earn greater job security? How they could further achieve their goals?

This employee deserves a complete understanding of how they’re performing so they can live up to your expectations, as well as the organization’s. They also deserve to help you deliver feedback in a skilled, caring, and supportive manner. 

Now, how they handle the truth is up to them, right? If they get defensive, or they don’t take action on your feedback, that’s on them. But at least you did your part so there’s no mystery on how you view their performance and how they can get better. 

Now, you might not have employees – but what about friends, family members, coworkers, and colleagues? In healthy relationships, everyone should know where they stand. 

As I shared, I’m on this journey with you. Having the courage to offer feedback is easier to write about than it is to do – especially in your personal relationships. And no one’s perfect in the area, either. But if there’s one thing we can work on continuously to perfect, it’s in giving feedback to inspire others to achieve their potential.