My friend called the other day. 50% of our conversation was about how much she hated her job. In situations like these, I have to ask: “Hey, is this a friendship conversation or do you want some coaching guidance?”

She chose friendship, so I listened. Before we wrapped up, I couldn’t help myself.  I asked for her permission to share some insight, which she granted, and my message was simple:

“If you’re not happy, it’s probably evident to everyone around you. Your frustration is likely showing up in your work, too. When times are tough, or when re-orgs happen, I don’t want your name on a list. So, let this be a sign: initiate change or change will happen to you. I’m here to help.”

She appreciated the guidance, though it probably wasn’t what she wanted to hear. But that’s the type of friend I am. We don’t need friends to tell us what we want to hear, right? We need friends who have the courage to be honest with us because only trusted friends have earned the right to do so. 

There’s a lesson in this that I want to share with you: if you’re coping, and going through the motions, and doing what you have to do to get by, it’s not just your company, your team, or your family that isn’t getting the best of you – it’s you not getting the best of you.

You deserve to be in a role where you thrive. You may have forgotten that you’re incredible, talented, smart, savvy, and experienced. You have wisdom to share – you’ve got leadership to offer. So, if you’re just getting by, you’re screwing yourself over. And I think you deserve better than that.

I love this Maya Angelou quote:

What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.

I’ve heard all the excuses and reasons why change is hard and/or seemingly impossible. They typically start with a “But, Angie, you don’t understand … .” But here’s the deal: I do understand.  I totally understand.  I don’t wake up sipping champagne and eating bon bons (but, boy, would I like to!). I live life in a whirl and break a few things along the way. 

I know changing your life, or even changing your mind, is hard. But you know what else is hard?  Living an unfulfilled life. Waking up without feeling passionate. Moving through life without a purpose. 

We get a choice: we can cope, or we can thrive. Either choice will be challenging, but only one will allow us to turn the page and find ourselves in a better story – the story we want to be in.