A few years ago, I had a private meeting with the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff in his office at the Pentagon. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this role, it’s the #1 highest ranking officer in our military. They serve on the President’s Cabinet and are responsible for the best military in the world.

If the CJCS had a “to-do” list, it’d likely include:

–          Battling cyber warfare

–          Keeping war off America’s soil

–          Maintaining global alliances

–          Evolving the force’s Employee Value Proposition to make military service more enticing

–          Thwarting enemy attacks

Basically, this guy has more responsibility than you, me, and the CEO of Google.   

So, after we said hello and sat down, I asked the General how he was doing. You know what he didn’t say? “Oh my God, Angie, I’m so busy – just so busy.” Instead, he launched into a thoughtful conversation about the world stage, which translated into a productive meeting regarding diversity and inclusion – the reason why I was there.

I bring this exchange up to illuminate a point: if arguably the busiest man in the world, who has an extremely high-pressure job, doesn’t say “I’m busy,” why do we?

Aren’t you sick of hearing how busy everyone is?  Aren’t you then sick of responding with an “Oh my God, me too?” And, then, before you know it you’re in a competition to be busier than the other person … a competition where the prize is burnout, excessive drama, and sadness?

When I hear someone tell me “I’m busy,” here are a few things I’m assuming:

–          They can’t prioritize

–          They enjoy drama

–          They can’t  delegate

–          They don’t know how to ask for help

–          They don’t know how to manage their time

–          They want me to feel sorry for them

Here’s some insight: you’re busy, I’m busy, the CJCS is busy … we’re all equally busy. But, what are we going to do about it?

Here are my thoughts:

–          Get ahold of your calendar and start managing your minutes better

–          Build up your team and their capacity

–          Start saying “no” more

–          Cut out the drama

–          Build better boundaries

–          Make clearer decisions

–          Stop telling people you’re busy … choose a new refrain to your song and dance

You’re a leader. You set the tone. When you change the conversation, you direct it towards the discussion you really want to have.

PS A friend’s son reached out last week to ask for mentorship in his job search.  He lives at home, goes to school part-time, and works part-time.  He missed our scheduled call. He then sent me a text a few days later, which included “I’m sorry.  I’m just so busy.”  I nearly lost my freaking mind.