Did you have a friend in college who just loved college?

Not the studying part, but the partying part – going to football games, $1 Long Island night at the bar, and frat parties?

I did – we’ll call him Ty.  I think he was the saddest kid on graduation day because he was saying goodbye to a life he loved.  The funny thing about Ty, though, is that as soon as he realized he didn’t have to quit college – he could get a job at the Student Center on campus! – he discovered life could be even better.  He could still live the student life, but with money this time … and without the stress of a paper to write last minute on a Tuesday.

Flash forward to when Ty was 27.  He went from that adorable, Girbaud jean wearing college guy to the creepy dude at the bar trying to date students.  My friends and I often referred to  him as “book mark”  because he couldn’t turn the page.  Sure, he was making money, getting older, but he wasn’t evolving, adulting.  Fortunately, after a “light” friend intervention, and some loving support, Ty made a successful transition and is a thriving professional and father of two beautiful girls today.  

I spent last week in Cincinnati supporting an Executive Leadership Team Offsite for an amazing client – the work they’re doing is literally changing the world.  Prior to the event, the CEO challenged me to share, from my perspective, the team’s growth beyond the KPIs  – are they evolving as a group, or is there a bookmark stuck in their chapter?

I relayed the story of Ty … and then, in contrast, reminded them of their successes as I saw them, and asked them to share their successes from their point of view.

What ensued was a remarkable conversation of how each team member saw the other team member’s growth.  In addition to top line results, they were developing as a team.  And when problems arose, they were no longer closed off and unwilling to ask for help.   It was an incredible moment of team respect, appreciation, and pride.  I loved witnessing this, while sharing that we just completed our first book in the series.  We just finished Twilight and we’re heading onto New Moon – where the plot really starts to develop and a whole host of new characters are introduced!  (That’s a shout out to all of you Stephanie Meyer fans!)

The recollection of my friend Ty, and the time spent with this incredible team, inspired an important self reflection period for me, personally.  

Are there areas in life where I’m stuck?  And, personally, how have I grown?

We all need to self evaluate from time to time to ensure that we’re not going through the motions of life and we’re honoring our experiences by reaching new levels.  This is essentially called self-actualization – it’s how we reach our potential. That’s what we’re born to do (if you can recall Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs).  

My reflection period was very valuable and it uncovered a huge growth area for me, as well as revealed areas in my life where I’m letting my ego drive my decision-making, which leads to meaningless, empty pursuits. 

I urge you: spend 30 minutes in your head this week asking yourself a few key questions:

• What have you achieved recently that really made you proud of you?
• How are you honoring your talents and gifts?
• What areas are you stretching into?
• Where are you stuck – is there a person, a position, an activity, or a role that you’re feeling no movement in?
• What stories are you telling yourself that aren’t helping you turn the page?

Enjoy the self reflection, as well as self candor … and here’s to an era of new realized potential!