I’m much more fun when I drink.

At least, that’s what I’ve been told. 

After a few cocktails, I let my guard down, my stream of consciousness flows, and soon I’m dancing like no one’s watching (although everyone is watching and it’s quite the spectacle). 

To be fair: this was more common when I was younger. Now that I’m older, just the smell of tequila makes me want to vomit. Also, I’ve learned a few lessons about the power of regret … not so much for the hangover, but the commitments I make when I’m not in the right state of mind. 

What commitments? Oh, well, let me tell you:

• Voicemails that should never have been left
• Relationships that should have never been started
• Lines that should have never been drawn

Has this happened to you?  Not so much the drinking to excess part, but more of the “making decisions when you’re not in the right state of mind” situation?  Here, let me give you a few examples:

• Saying something out of anger
• Doing something because you feel pressured
• Jumping in without a plan because you’re overcome by emotion

It’s okay to admit it.  We’re all human.  And when we exercise our free will a little too freely, here’s what we need to do: demonstrate courage. 

We tend to think of leveraging courage when we need to start something, to be brave.  

Here’s an idea: use courage to back out of something, to un-commit, and to unburden yourself from the stress or guilt of an experience you never really wanted in the first place … or you weren’t in the right mind to say “yes” to in the first place.

Here’s what acting courageously can look like:

• Apologizing because you know you’re wrong
• De-committing because you know you weren’t acting in your best interest
• Being accountable to how your poor behavior led to bad decision making
• Changing – because if you know better, you should do better
• Being okay with not being okay – and, unlike a hangover where a greasy sandwich and Gatorade can make you feel better, know that guilt, sadness, and sorrow will take a bit of time to heal … but it’s okay to feel all the feels to process your emotions

And why do we need the courage to change our mind?  Well, there are times when you’re living out someone else’s plan, dream, or idea. You’re putting yourself on the backburner, telling yourself subliminally that you and your aspirations don’t matter. I’m here to tell you that they do. If you’re acting out of alignment, how will you ever reach your potential?  

(That was a rhetorical question. If you’re not aligned, you won’t … you just won’t.)

I say all this with confidence and clarity. Believe me, I’m a student with you on this journey. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t challenge myself to be a little braver, a little more aligned, a little clearer with what I should be doing and, more importantly, not doing.

What I’m learning is that I’m creating more space in my life for me and my potential … and also dancing. Always dancing … a little more sober, a lot more controlled.  

Here’s to better days ahead!

PS  But if you’ve committed to doing something like help your friend move, don’t back out of that – even though you don’t want to help someone move. The courage to change your mind doesn’t give you permission to be flakey.  We can endure small acts of service out of love.  

And if you’ve asked your friends to help you move, I have to ask: why? We should’ve all stopped doing that by the time we’re 25. Just because someone bought a truck doesn’t mean they also want to help move your couch.